Autoethnographies of Educators Learning and Teaching With/In [Dis]ability
Edited By Philip Smith
Chapter 6: I Am Not of This World, and Yet I Am in It: A Daughter’s/Disability-Studies-in-Education Alien’s Log of a Journey Through Hell, by Alicia Broderick
I am having issues with figure/ground. There is only profound alienation the likes of which I have never before experienced—and I had previously considered myself intimately familiar with alienation. I am the black sheep, the leftist, atheist daughter who somehow was spawned of this conservative, Catholic family. I am the outlier, the outsider, the prodigal, the alien. It is my role within the family, and it is familiar, if not yet welcome or comfortable, to me. I am not myself here; within this cultural geographic space I exist only as the caricature they believe me to be. Which is to say that I do not exist. I read the paper, see the billboards, watch the television, find it surreal, dislocated, ethereal, imaginary. I am surrounded by Fox News, country music, casual racism and homophobia, and more references to god and guns every day than I would ordinarily encounter in a week or a month. I am not of this world, and yet I am in it, invisible, alienated, nonexistent. The ICU adds an additional layer of alienation to this experience. I am already alien outside the hospital doors; that alienation exponentially increases inside them. Reality is shifting, elusive, unstable. And hostile to my very existence.
You see, I am a disability studies scholar. A what? That doesn’t exist ← 121 | 122 → here. It causes me to see, hear, experience most of what happens to me with an additional layer of horror that most of the people around me...
You are not authenticated to view the full text of this chapter or article.
This site requires a subscription or purchase to access the full text of books or journals.
Do you have any questions? Contact us.Or login to access all content.