Toward Supreme Love in Self – (This Is an Endarkened, Feminist, New Literacies Event)
Come in from out there (Asher speaks: A story)
Come in from out there
We make the road by walking. If I had learned how to tell him what I wanted and listened to my own voice instead of allowing it to be twisted or silenced, I could have gotten to where it’s at a lot sooner. The point of getting there is to be a better woman—a more powerful, peaceful, loving and joyful woman (… all by yourself?). Such qualities depend on understanding your own road. I’d lost that with him. Maybe I’m being naïve, even unfair. Actually, I probably gave the road away. Can’t blame somebody else for that. When I tried to set myself straight—my road, my mind, my heart, my body— he was too accustomed to having me his way, in every way. He wouldn’t relent his footing from where we’d begun. He was the Casanova. I was the fool. He was the cool guy. I was the square. He was the party animal…the fun-loving, future doctor…the hip talking livewire with the slew of fast times and faster women on the side. I was the wannabe Main Chick who thought she held all the cards. I co-signed the contract, unspoken or not. Sure, he was the asshole. But, I wiped the ass. I gave him permission to cheat me out of what I wanted, thinking that I was getting all that there was…all I deserved? Yes, for a long time, all that much-less-than-his-best was all I thought I...