A Post-colonial Reconstruction of Diaspora
Chapter Four To go back there again 135
135 Chapter Four To go back there again They gathered, and gathered and gathered every grain of rice, only the rice ears stayed… On Place India Place I can only remember the immediate surroundings of the places we have lived in. A child does not wander off too far away. Stay close, she would say and I knew she was close at hand, from the smell of caramelised onions on her clothes, on her lap, where I laid my head. I am going back to India. Are you going home, they ask. Where is home. Many places. Homelessness. It is not such a bad thing; you may find solace inside, or in many places, or even a purpose for being homeless. A purpose. How does it feel to be able to say this is my country Although I know now where I was born, where the women I am linked to in blood are from, still I am on the periphery, on the fringes. What is India to me? A myth I have carried all these years, shielding me from discrimination and shame. I could cope better with their racism be- cause I told myself – this is not your country, in your country this would not happen. 136 What would she have said to all I write and think. Did she not tell us who we were to protect us. Or did she not tell us so we would feel inferior. Did she believe we were inferior. Questions more than...
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