Finding Forgiveness: What do we with the past?

June Boyce-Tillman, editor of the book series Music and Spirituality

This is Part 1 of a series of articles on Finding Forgiveness.

What do we with the past, particularly when it involves serious abuse? Is it possible to mulch it down into a rich compost for current projects or does it remain permanently as a blot on the landscape of the past? Predestination has reappeared at various points in European history. In a religious context, certain people are predestined for heaven and certain others for hell. In a contemporary context it appears as: This is what you have experienced as a child and, therefore, this is what you can expect as an adult.

At present the answer to abuse seems to be a courtroom. We have lost touch with the three aspects of the private, social and public dimensions. The public aspect often concentrates on legal requirements in safe guarding procedures. But in the social and private dimensions we have often confused reconciliation, repentance and forgiveness[1] (Bash 2007 pp58–62, Cantacuzino 2015).

It seems to me that we are in danger of confusing vengeance with justice. This confusion may leave people trapped in the stage of anger, rather than enabling them to move on beyond it, to the important phases of acceptance and celebration. Although the extreme confidentiality of my own youth was unhealthy, over-publicity may be equally pernicious. Yes, the story needs to be heard and acknowledged, but by which people? How many people are necessary? I wonder if the criminal justice system is the best way for stories to be heard. For the purpose of stopping further actions on the part of the alleged perpetrator, the system is essential; I look back at my life and think about which of the perpetrators were actually challenged; I think it was only one — the psychiatric nurse in a hospital. To challenge the ones in my family would have meant serious fractures within the family circle and possibly my being taken into care; here, it would seem, the possibility of the abuse continuing was even more likely. Apart from stopping potential perpetrators, the question we need to ask is how survivors can be enabled to become celebrators and to use their experience profitably for the good of the wider community.

Perhaps the problem is the tools for mulching experience into rich compost for the future. In an age when we are deleting from the school curriculum the arts and philosophy/theology we may find that we have lost vestiges of the tools. These are — in my experience:

• Faith — meaning-making

• Prayer — re-centering

• Ritual

• Creativity

Through these we can establish an authentic interiority (O’Sullivan) in my experience.

In the next post, I will describe two examples which have enabled this process in me….

[1] Bash, Anthony (2007). Forgiveness and Christian ethics. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

[2] https://www.slideshare.net/MichaelOSullivan7/authentic-subjectivity-and-social-transformation Contacted Feb 2nd 2018

Cantacuzino, Marino (2015). The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a vengeful age. London: Jessica Kingsley