Toward Supreme Love in Self – (This Is an Endarkened, Feminist, New Literacies Event)
A departure (Asher speaks: A story)
I am almost one now.
When I wrote There are two truths I meant it. I wanted to unify myself…reconcile the contesting vantage points I had. I was tired of being taught the same lessons and going through the same drama year after year. I wanted reconciliation with me the way I want to be, the way I was designed to be. Or is it destined to be? I’m not sure. I just know that I wanted to be the fullness of my wildest dreams. By the time I spoke to Soren about what I knew about sex I had been abstaining for about a year. I was in the middle of a failing relationship. I knew that the only way I could reach the height of myself was to keep myself to myself for a while. Long before I met Soren, I turned into that Crying Woman. The one in the mall. The one I witnessed, when I was lost. The one who stood there taking a bunch of crap from a guy who didn’t know what else to do or have anything else to give. I know now that abstaining from sex was not a tactic that salvaged my sanity in and of itself, but it helped, a lot. It made me stop giving myself away in the hopes of getting something back. It made me get quiet, cease neediness, and grow up into my untapped strength and independence. Abstinence helped...